Money Guilt: Overcoming Financial Shame as a Pastor

This article was originally published in the Spring 2025 issue of The Bridge.

Shame can be a difficult and uncomfortable topic, especially when tied to finances. In 2015, Pension Fund leadership wisely and bravely addressed the dynamics of how shame can impede financial wellness by launching the Excellence in Ministry (EIM) program. It is time to extend this conversation.

For years, terms like "shame" and "guilt" have been used interchangeably, leading to confusion. Some have even referred to "Godly shame," which actually aligns more with guilt than shame. Guilt is a healthy emotional response that helps us recognize when we have made a mistake and need to make amends. Shame, however, tells us that we are a mistake. It keeps us hiding our missteps in the dark, where we are more likely to trip and cause more harm to ourselves and others.

We all carry some degree of shame. The environment in which we grow up, combined with how we respond to it as we mature, influences how much shame grips us. As we age, unhealed shame can lead us into poor choices and entangle us in repeating harmful behaviors. While guilt urges us to seek solutions and support, shame paralyzes us, making us believe that we can’t share our struggles or mistakes.

This becomes relevant when we discuss money. Personal finances can stir up a wide range of emotions. A healthy relationship with money includes transparency, good boundaries, and the ability to course correct when we overspend. Shame, however, leads us down a different path. It might prompt thoughts like, "I have already blown the budget this month, so why not indulge and start fresh next paycheck?" Shame encourages secrecy, defensiveness, and blame, preventing us from taking responsibility and seeking help.

Many clergy struggle financially due to limited income, making budgeting and saving difficult. Over time, debt can accumulate, and feelings of being overwhelmed grow. Shame tells a person to hide their financial struggles instead of seeking assistance or creating a new plan. This sense of shame doesn’t just affect personal finances—it impacts ministry. It can make it harder to preach on stewardship, participate in finance committee meetings, or negotiate salary packages.

Having a healthy relationship with money does not mean everything is perfect. It is about transparency, boundaries, and the courage to face our challenges head-on. Shame may encourage secrecy, but guilt, when handled properly, can be a motivator for growth and change. By addressing our shame, we can take meaningful steps toward better financial health, which in turn strengthens our ability to serve in ministry. Pension Fund offers a resources to help you take those meaningful steps through our partners at Your Money Line and Learn to Live.

Your Money Line, a free financial wellness tool offered to all Pension Fund members, offers a range of valuable services, with one of its strengths being the opportunity to confidentially address financial matters that may have been kept hidden. It provides a partnership where individuals can share their financial challenges and collaborate on creating a practical, effective plan. If that plan needs adjustments, Your Money Line is there to help course correct. It is a space for transparency, accountability, and ongoing support — all tools to assist in minimizing shame and empowering individuals to make healthier financial choices and stay on track. You can schedule your first call with a financial advisor by visiting our Your Money Line page.

Learn to Live is a mental health resource offered to all Pension Fund members who are active clergy and their family members (ages 13+). Addressing your financial wellness goals can be intimidating and can affect your mental health. Learn to Live offers cognitive behavioral therapy tools, coaching, and resources that can help maintain your mental wellness while you address your financial goals. Be gentle with yourself as you address these issues; progress, not perfection, is the goal!